psychedelica | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ so jae-ha got kind of crispy. Hikage knows this better than anyone, being the one that found his fried puppet in the first place. However, this does not stop him from approaching half-dressed Jae-ha after all the investigations are over... and swiftly moving to punch him right in one of his toasted dragon boobs with absolutely no warning. ]

What's wrong with you?!

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[ . . . . and Jae-ha just breathes out, his expression softening at the look of fear on Hikage's face. There isn't sympathy there, not even the empathy that managed to hit him before, but just... relief. Even if Hikage isn't sure of anything else, at least there's a little part of him that's being honest. That he can't hide away.

So he just shakes his head.]

I'll make a promise - to you, of all people here in this castle, I won't lie. I have nothing to gain from it.

[He doesn't take joy in Hikage's suffering - but it doesn't feel right to let him stew in his own confusion alone either.]

You can choose. You can accept that both parts might be real. But I can't tell you what to do.

Only that I hope you find a happiness that you can accept here.

[ he doesn't believe that promise for a second; it rolls off of him like water. He can't trust people; he doesn't remember why, but he never has been able to believe in them. Innately, he believes they'll betray him. Maybe it's because he knows he's always lying, himself - but he's also certain that it's something left over from who he used to be.

Not that he can think about that right now. When he approached Jae-ha, he'd intended to yell and curse at him and scare him into submission. Instead, he's standing before him, quivering, feeling as vulnerable as if he was just stripped naked. Hikage wonders how he knows so much; maybe Jae-ha's a clairvoyant, too, and can see into what he's feeling just by being near him. The ludicrous idea of choosing burns him like the sun. If he chose, he'd have to tell someone.

(Even the fact that he's thinking that means he's already chosen; he doesn't realize it.) ]

... Are you going to kill me?

... I don't plan on killing anyone here. It's not in my nature to do as I'm told, so I'll probably die disobeying. It wouldn't be the first time that I got close to it.

[It'd only be a matter of time before something finished off the job. He wonders if that's something he should be saying to a dead man and so he admits, quieter:]

Breathing and going through the motions of someone else's plan - that doesn't sound like living to me anyway.

As for the idea of killing you in particular... I told you that I like you. I think you're afraid, confused, and scared at the idea of freedom.... but I think that's why I want to root for you, more than anything else.

[It's familiar.

It's so painfully, achingly familiar. But Jae-ha knows that not everyone in the same as him - born with a sense of defiance and spite for fate - and so perhaps that's why he encourages small acts of rebellion where he can.]

You'll regret it.

[ it's a faint defiance, all that he can muster where he is now. He doesn't believe what Jae-ha says. The two of them just don't know each other that well; somehow, Jae-ha has just managed to press all of his buttons in the most infuriating way this week. Now he's made a fatal error. He's sure that Jae-ha is more involved than he's letting on, and he's sure that letting this knowledge leak will kill him. Being a liar is enough to make someone like him a suspect.

He should shoot him now, but that would only make his own demise come faster.

Hikage doesn't say anything else; he just stands still there, like an animal frozen in fear. ]

... are you trying to threaten me into secrecy?

[He - can't help it, he sounds a little wry at the idea.]

I think you need to decide whether you want to keep living or not, but I hope you don't think you can bait me into making that decision for you. I don't plan on ending your time here early. If trying to talk to you about your problems just means that you end up wanting to kill me, that's my choice and my mistake - but I'm choosing to make it.

[Also he's a little painfully confident in his ability to stay alive. It's likely overconfidence, and it's why he has a tendency to put himself in dangerous situations for the sake of others but - that's just as written into his blood as the color of his hair.]

You're still not the ugliest soul I've ever seen.

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