psychedelica | (no subject)

[ he's not used to people wanting to protect him, so that reply gives him pause for a moment. But there's a part of his brain that logically fills in the gap for him, that if something happened to him, it would affect her, too. That's all it is. Of course. ]

It's okay. I'll handle it. [ he drops his hand, glancing over at her. ] ... About as well as you'd think. You?

[ if he ever says that out loud steph will probably throttle him. ]

I liked Sharpay.

[ she suspected it was her more than the others, mostly after the reveal that she wasn't with jae-ha before curfew. steph suspected, but she didn't want it to actually be her. ]

[ one day he'll tell you about his absurd lack of self-worth...

He never actually spoke to Sharpay, outside of the few words they exchanged during the trial itself when Hikage suspected her, and the fact is that she killed Gi-gan. He doesn't have much sympathy for her. But he does feel sympathy for Steph. His stiff expression softens. ]

... I'm sorry. [ not sorry that she's dying, but sorry that she lied to Steph and made her hurt. ] There's got to be a way out of here. We'll find it and put a stop to this. I promise.

There's already too many dead.

[ one is too many. and now there will be more, and as the weeks progress, if everything goes according to tiger and dragon's plans, it'll keep happening.

she's silent for a moment after speaking, before she shifts so that she's actually properly facing him now. ]

Hey.

[ this feels a little serious now. Not that it wasn't serious before - he's still wondering in the back of his mind what's going to happen to him come Monday now that Cinderella is dead - but still. He meets her gaze questioningly. At close range, the dark violet of his left eye somehow looks closer to red. ]

What is it?

Do not freak out.

[ that's about the only warning he's going to get before she quickly reaches over and hugs him. ]

[ to nobody's surprise, Hikage is not a very physically affectionate person; honestly, this is probably the first time anyone's hugged him in [redacted] years. When she tells him not to freak out, he just raises an eyebrow, expecting her to reveal some secret she hadn't told him yet, not... well, this. He freezes up right away, reflexively stiffening in her arms.

Is she actually worried about him?

Mostly, he's bewildered - but part of him is touched, too, at being treated like this, although he knows it's silly. In the end, it's that part of him that wins out, and he shifts, awkwardly (gently) resting a hand on her back. ]

... What's the matter? This isn't like you.

Surprise, I'm actually a hugger.

[ although she normally does not warn for them beforehand.

when he does return the hug, no matter how awkwardly, she grins. he probably can't see it from their current position though. ]

I'm just glad that I got a good partner. We're going to get through this, Hikage.

[ Her being a hugger is actually not surprising, when he thinks about it. Thinking about it doesn't help him relax much, though. One week isn't nearly enough for him to grasp the true nature of Steph's character; he remains uncertain about the actual intent behind this gesture, ignoring the explanation she offers. He doesn't know what she's thinking. That's something he'll have to get used to.

Even so, it feels nice to be touched. He hates to admit it, but he likes it. It's not like this really matters - he's dead, anyway - so he may as well indulge. ]

Between this and the bed, you're like a little kid. [ Hikage laughs under his breath, and returns the embrace a little more confidently, wrapping his arms around her. ] I know we will. Don't let me down.

[ "don't let me down." she won't. she's decided this, and she will cling to this decision. stephanie has definitely made mistakes. depending on who you ask, said mistakes have either been utterly disastrous or just pitiable. for steph, they serve as reminders of why she needs to keep trying.

so she won't let hikage down. or anyone. they'll figure this out. ]

You're sitting right on the bed. Try and tell me it's not comfortable.

[ somehow, it's less embarrassing hearing her talk about this if he doesn't have to look at her face while she does it... either that, or he's just gotten more used to her teasing. ]

It is.

[ not for the first time, he thinks that she's way too trusting... either that, or she legitimately wants to sleep with him, in one way or another, and he doesn't know what to make of that yet. Why don't you find out? (No, not now.)

Hikage's embrace loosens. ]

You should thank me for letting you have it all to yourself.

[ it's a mystery.

(she really doesn't mind. being in this castle is uncomfortable enough for a lot of reasons, so adding sleeping on a floor to that doesn't seem right.) ]

You say that, but your back is probably on my side on this one. [ steph lets go, but she also doesn't back away to her original spot. ]

[ he can handle it!! His back does hurt, though... not that he's about to admit that she's right. Despite the fact that they were holding each other a few seconds ago, being able to look her in the face again suddenly makes him feel like he's sitting too close. Somewhat clumsily, he glances away, then gets to his feet, leaving her with the bed to herself once again. ]

Worry about your own back. You're too nice, and you trust easily. Someone's going to take advantage of that.

[ the tea is still sitting there; also sitting there is a single homemade-looking pastry of some kind on a plate, which Hikage hasn't touched, although it looks like there might have been more there before. The reason he hasn't eaten it? It's for her, of course. Girls like sweets when they need to be cheered up. He picks it up and holds it out to her. ]

For all you know, it could be me.

[ she'll take it from him and... takes a bite out of it right when he says he could take advantage of her. there's a joke in there, somewhere, and she manages to not laugh. ]

I can take care of myself. [ she adds a little more seriously after a pause, ] I've had to learn to live with a lot of stuff, so I'm not as easy to trick as I might look. And you wouldn't take advantage of me.

[ Hikage looks pensive, briefly, and his lips press together as if he wants to say something, but he evidently decides not to. Though he already ran away from one intimate situation (he'd never admit that being so close to her made him nervous), he's not thick enough to miss that she was trying to lighten the mood. For the time being, he'll let her think what she wants. ]

... "A lot of stuff?"

[ this time she doesn't start talking right away. she doesn't mind talking about it; it's not something that she has been super secretive about in the past. there's still a frown on steph's face when she does speak though. ]

My dad was a villain and my mom was a drug addict. So, a lot of the time our house was just filled with a lot of bad guys all the time while my mom did nothing about it. It's the reason I even started doing the vigilante thing, actually. My dad was released out of jail because everyone believed he reformed but I knew he just became a better actor. I decided that our local hero scene needed my help to arrest him.

[ she smiles again. ]

See? I know what being around untrustworthy people is like. I'll be okay.

[ he wasn't expecting that amount of detail from her, admittedly. He's gotten used to people not having much - if anything - to say about themselves; nobody in the other manor remembered who they were. It's bittersweet. Something about her story conjures up a sense of nostalgia, but he has no idea which part, or why. ]

So that's your reason. [ no "normal" person would choose to wear a cape and run around fighting crime; this explains it, he supposes. There's a pause while he thinks. ] ... You say that, but you don't know anything about me.

[ does he even know anything about him, though? without his memories, there are moments where he feels like he's living the wrong life. ]

So? What happened to your parents after that?

Oh... my dad died. [ there's an odd edge to her tone; she has complicated feelings about her father's death. after a life of crime, he died actually doing something good, and everyone expect stephanie to suddenly think of him as a hero instead of the person who ruined her life again and again. ]

But my mom's better now! She went to rehab, and we live together pretty happily.

... I see. That's good.

[ his response is hesitant; somewhat tentatively, he returns to his seat beside her on the bed (with the space between them replenished, of course.) Comforting people is not his strong point. He wonders what the right thing to say in this situation is... At the very least, he feels like he should be beside her for it. ]

I'm sure you'll see her again soon.

[ hikage: that's rough buddy

it's fine though. steph is at least used to going away on dangerous missions enough that she's always aware that any day could be the last time she sees her mom. this is the same, even if it's in a different flavor. and her dad... well. she's more upset that he took the one secret she wanted to know to the grave than the fact that he died. that probably makes her a terrible person, she thinks, so she won't say that out loud. ]

I will. Just like how you'll get what you need back, too.

[ he's doing his best!! but empathy is hard. At least she doesn't look put off by his response; it can't have been too bad, then. He doesn't truly remember anything about his own parents to relate to her story with. The knowledge of what parents should be remains, however, and he knows she must miss them, at least a little. It's complicated, no doubt. ]

What I need? [ a blink. ] Are you talking about my memory?

Your memory, or... whatever it is that you need to do when you leave this place.

[ and also when he leaves purgatory, maybe, she doesn't know too much on how that works to really say. ]

[ his mouth twists into a dissatisfied frown, even deeper than it had been when he'd learned about Cinderella. This time, though, there's something a little more serious in his eyes. Fear? ]

... I don't know if I want to remember. [ she might be the first person he's actually admitted this to; the others he'd been with in the old manor wouldn't have accepted it. ] The fact that I'm in that manor at all means... the circumstances when I died were bad enough that my soul is refusing to pass on.

[ a pause; he opens his mouth like he has something else to say, but closes it again, ruminating. A small thorn of pain pricks at the back of his mind. ]

Oh. [ she's quiet, trying to imagine his circumstances. there are things in stephanie's life that she would prefer to forget, but if it meant that she had to lose the rest of it, she wouldn't. but hikage can't even make that distinction of if the good outweighs the bad or vice versa. ]

I know it doesn't compare in any way, but I'm going to make as many good memories with you as possible.

[ it's a weird comment. Hikage thinks it's weird, at least, judging by his expression. He looks like he has no idea how to react. ]

... Why? [ wait, let's rephrase this. ] There's no point. I'm dead already. Besides, for all you know, both of us will forget any of this ever happened. And even if you do remember, the best-case scenario for me is... my soul passes on, and I get reborn as someone else. I won't remember you.

Edited 2018-06-14 22:49 (UTC)

Well, right now, stop thinking about what might happen. The future is nothing but possibilities. But right now? It's what we got, so I want you to have as decent of a now as you can while stuck in this place.

[ it's simple. and like she said, she knows it won't make up for anything else. but hikage is depressing and she wants him to be less so. ]

[ thank you for trying to pull him out of his evanescence-filled existence, steph

it's hard for him not to make plans for what will happen or might happen; he's a perfectionist, and a bit of a control freak, and he wants to know exactly where everything lies on the table. His existence in the manor was a struggle for survival and answers; trying to stop and enjoy anything for too long would inevitably lead to his demise. This place, too, is full of danger - but it's danger sandwiched between long periods of peace, and with a future he doesn't know and can't plan for. Is he being foolish by not taking advantage of this opportunity? Surely, most dead would give anything for a chance to brush against life and the living one more time... ]

... You're a weird girl. [ a sigh. ] All right. I'll hold you to that, then. If I don't get killed again.

We are definitely going to do our best to make sure you stay not killed.

[ it kind of feels like a joke that he would be brought here only to die again. but tiger and dragon don't seem like the type to care about things like that. ]

But I won't let you down.