psychedelica | (no subject)

(no subject)

Here.

[ welcome to THE KITCHEN, belph, because that's where your hikage time is happening today. He's brewed some tea tonight (as he does most nights), but he's made enough for two; now he's holding a cup out to Belph. ]

You're going to need it after all that.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... Heh. Well, that's true for all of us. We're just ourselves, for better or for worse.

[he wonders, but he won't say it out loud.]

Maybe that's why humans continue to associate with one another, even though other people drag us down. We need to be seen through someone else's lens, other than our own.

[otherwise, no matter how well you think you understand yourself, you're just empty.]

What does that mean?

[ the idea unsettles him a little more than he'd like - that he doesn't really know. Do other people know him better than he does? It's not crazy to think that when he barely remembers anything about who he was. But he knows who he is now... doesn't he? ]

[he shrugs.]

The way you see yourself and the way people see you are two halves of the same coin.

[a dry smile. man, hikage's too old (?) for him to be telling this stuff. he's not entirely sure of why he is, but—well, it's not like he really has to say anything about himself.]

Whether it's the truth or a lie. Sometimes, the misconceptions people have of you are more comforting than the real thing.

[ he eyes Belph for a few more seconds - not angrily, not inquisitively, but rather blankly, as if he doesn't understand, or doesn't want to. In the end, his gaze drops back into his cup. ]

Well... Thanks, I guess.

[ it's an awkward conclusion, but it's all he can think of. If he presses further, he's not sure he's ready for what he'll find. Not yet. ]

[...]

You've got really low standards if you're thanking me for something like that, man.

I've been dead for a long time.

[ that's the only explanation he's offering. normally, he'd be more embarrassed about that callout, but his thoughts are clearly elsewhere. ]

There aren't many other people there. Everyone eventually passes on or disappears.

[ except for one. ]

[cautiously, he takes a small sip of his tea.]

Death sounds pretty dreary.

[he's just... going to accept this as a thing. it's easier than pondering the logistics of it.]

[ it's not poisoned, don't worry. just normal green tea!! it tastes like macha, actually... the good stuff. ]

You're only just realizing that now?

[why are you such a mom, hikage. you can even make tea??]

I haven't died yet.

[ HE HAS NOTHING BETTER TO DO IN THE AFTERLIFE ]

That doesn't matter. You don't need to die to know death isn't exactly a great time.

[ this is better, let's talk about death, it doesn't confuse him as much... the color's returning to his face, even. ]

Personally, I was hoping it'd just be oblivion, but I guess that's not the case, huh?

It depends on how you look at it. When your soul is reborn, you don't have any of your memories, so the Belph in front of me now would be gone. You'd be someone else.

Is that so? I think I could live with that, to be honest.

You don't like being you?

[you can't just ASK people that, hikage!!]

Well, change of pace is nice once in a while, right?

[ he just did, too bad. ]

Dying and being reborn isn't "a change of pace."

Technically, it is!

Is your life that miserable?

[ he does live underground like a mole person, so it's possible... ]

[he doesn't live like a mole person!!!!!!]

Did I ever say that?

Why else would you want to start it over? Stop being coy. I'm not an idiot.

... You're awfully curious about this.

The way you always dance around subjects you don't want to talk about is annoying. That's all.

Well, my deepest apologies for that. Still, I'm sure there are things you don't want to talk about either.

[ Hikage sighs into his cup. ]

Of course there are.

[ he looks down at the unfamiliar face reflected on the surface of his tea. He doesn't really care about what Belph is hiding - he was just trying to get away from the earlier topic. The idea that Belph likes him. That he sees him as someone fun to be around, someone trying his best. Somehow. That he'd spare him for some reason. Is that who Hikage is? Is Belph worth trusting over this, or is he just lying, trying to trick him? (But what would he be trying to trick him out of? He doesn't know.)

He feels like he'd been laying in the dark at the bottom of a deep lake, and suddenly, he's been dislodged from his resting place. He wonders if there would even be a point in trying to swim for the surface - if there would be someone waiting to pull him back up. ]

... What's your title, Belph?

Edited (i can't fuckin read) 2018-06-22 20:00 (UTC)

[...]

That's quite the thing to ask of me.