psychedelica | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ Hikage... is tired. And it's not even mostly because of the trial, to be honest - although that didn't help matters. Belph is marginally easier to talk to than Steph, on account of not being a pretty girl (something about her that only makes her more confusing to Hikage), so he finds himself at Belph's doorstep after the trial.

In fact, he probably loiters around outside for a good minute or two, deciding if he should actually knock or not. Hopefully, no one passes by and sees him looking sketchy. But, eventually, he does knock. ]

Belph. It's me.

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I remembered something earlier this week.

[ he takes the offered seat. no canoodling for you tonight, belph. ]

It's been -- decades of nothing. Just emptiness. I've been alone. I turned into someone else. But now I remembered a part of who I used to be.

[ it's almost like he's talking at Belph more than anything; he's staring at the other man's feet as he talks rather than his face. ]

You might have been right... No, both of us might be right about me.

[well, that's confusing. suffice to say belph wasn't expecting this at all.]

... Let me see if I have this straight: so you think the pre-amnesia you was basically on a different end of the alignment scale than the one you're on now?

[ hearing it put in such simple terms is almost offensive; Hikage's eyes are drawn upwards a bit sharply towards Belph. ]

... I don't think. I know. I can remember it. Not all of it, but enough to...

[ he stops, cutting himself off. Enough to what? What is he doing here, anyway? Belph can't help him. ]

... Why am I telling you about this? This is stupid.

Honestly, I have no idea.

[it's a little startling that hikage would tell him this at all.]

Some people find it helpful to talk about that kind of stuff, but as someone who isn't a practitioner, I can't tell you how much good it'd do for you.

[ the fact that Belph trusted him was enough, apparently. Hikage hates himself for being so weak. He's rolling over and showing his underbelly to this idiot like a stray dog - and for what? What does he expect will come of this? No matter how much he remembers, he'll never be that person again. Dragon might have said her wishes have power, but he can't believe they have that much.

He pinches his eyes shut, then shakes his head. ]

Forget about it. That wasn't me. [ he takes a deep breath, tugging at his bangs. looks for a distraction. ] ... What are you going to do about Fitzgerald?

[he won't press. hikage can have his distraction.]

Why are you asking me? Not like it's my decision.

[ thanks brotome ]

Obviously not. I'm asking what you think should be done.

[yw brotome]

I mean, I'd feel better if he wasn't allowed to run around freely, but...

[he shrugs. not much to be done about that.]

... So you're not advocating killing him, then.

[ he tilts his head at Belph, slightly, but then looks off at the ground. ]

Do you think they can be forgiven? Him and Akechi. There's no denying what they've done, but they're still here.

It's not really a matter of forgiveness for me.

What do you mean?

It has less to do with my personal opinion on them—I don't like Francis, for what it's worth—and more that I'm not the kind of guy who likes to take things into his own hands.

[ Belph seems so disconnected from everything. Hikage wonders if he has a single strong opinion in his body. ]

... You're willing to stand on the sidelines and watch everything happen? You're in danger, you know.

I'm a slacker. It's what I do best.

... But jokes aside, I'm better suited for other things. Have you spoken to Akechi about his Blotter info yet?

Of course I have.

[ he doesn't quite understand the segue here, so he looks at Belph expectantly. ]

... Has anyone told you that you're a little too efficient?

[SIGHS.]

Anyway, that's what I've been up to. What do you think about what his info?

I don't think he was lying to me. He wasn't in a position to do so.

[ that, he's confident in. ]

It makes our job harder. If there was simply a "team" of people trying to hunt us down while we tried to survive, we could just kill them first. The fact that they rotate in and out means it's less clear how we win this game, or get out of it alive at all.

[he raises an eyebrow, but he won't press.]

Yeah... there's also the matter of the one win condition we now know: that either the hero faction or villain faction has to be wiped out. [...] Well, as someone with a civilian title, you probably don't have to worry too much about which side wins, but...

... I don't suppose you know which woman is in charge of which team.

[ he's guessing tiger is with the villains, but that's nothing but a guess. ]

Nope. Would that influence your decision?

Maybe. I don't trust either of them, but Dragon seems more honest.

[ tiger is too familiar. ]

I guess? They're both kind of unhelpful in trials, so I haven't thought too hard about their personalities yet.

... Is that really the only time you talk to them?

[he raises an eyebrow.]

Yeah? What, are you accusing me of something?

No. I just figured you'd try to get more information out of them. Maybe you really are a slacker.

[ time to reassess how he thinks of belph ]

[fair tbh.]

I mean, I talked to Tiger, like, once? To discuss the well? But that's pretty much it.

Have you been hitting them up, then?

Sometimes. They're not very helpful, like you said, but... they can say interesting things.

[ his mind drifts back to what he'd originally been talking about - the old him, the image of his little sister's face - and what Dragon had told him not long ago, about what might happen if he can only just survive. ]

C'mon, you can't just leave it at "interesting" without elaborating.

There's the wishing well, but they claim that they can grant much more powerful wishes than that, themselves. Bringing someone back to life, for instance.

[he raises an eyebrow.]

... And how'd you get to discussing that?

I wanted to know what would happen at the end of this game... Why should I even bother playing along? Or any of us, for that matter? That was the answer they gave - both of them.

[ that's the bait - much like in the other manor. ]

... I guess something like that would be a pretty powerful motivator for a lot of people.

Not for you?

[he shrugs.]

... Well, it's complicated. There's maybe one person I wouldn't mind bringing back, but then I'd have to make more wishes to sort out the ensuing mess.

[though that's just about all he'll say on that.]

... Would you go through all of this to bring them back?

[ the question feels a little heavy; he's uneasy again. He doesn't know if he wants to come back at all. ]

Depends on what you mean. Would I kill someone for it? Nah.

[irina would never want that, anyway.]

But since it's not like I have a choice but to be here... well, I'm already putting in the effort to survive this.

[ he regards Belph for a few seconds; then, he sighs, sitting back on the bench. ]

You're weird. I really don't get you.

What's so weird about me?

You're lazy. You seem like you don't care about anything, even yourself. I thought you'd be easy to talk to because of that. But every once in a while, you say something that makes it sound like you have some sort of morality - like you'd work for somtehing.

[... he smiles, though there's a bit of a grimness to it.]

You sure it's not just your imagination?

I'm good at reading people.

[when you make that fucking face that comes off as really ominous, hikage...]

Well, I won't deny that.

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