Because he's my friend. I'm not going to give up on him because of this.

[and she's - honestly going to help herself to a seat? she feels like even if she doesn't stay for a long time, she owes this conversation something]

He was stupid - but he was with me before everything happened. He'd never even survived a Thursday night before and while that isn't an excuse for being reckless, it at least partially explains why he was extremely dumb about everything.

Even though he's capable of making his own decisions, and it was an accident - I should've done better by him. And he's not here anymore, so I have to make sure everything is set right.

... though - that might be more of an answer than you wanted.

[but admittedly lili's thoughts on the matter, while straightforward, can easily be construed as self-blame which... is not what it is.]