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[psychedelica]

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week 0, wednesday afternoon

[psychedelica]

[ someone is knocking on your dormitory door!! who could it be!! ]

[coastal]

[she thinks about not answering it, she really does

but then she sighs, going to open the door and - surprised to find hikage. very surprised.]

What do you want?

[what i'd give for her to be nice]

[psychedelica]

Oh, it's you.

[ thanks for opening the door, Lili. Standing there is Hikage, looking like the weird goth kid that he is in his soul. He looks at her, then looks over her shoulder, apparently unfazed by her rudeness, judging by how rude he's being in return. ]

Belph lives here, right?

[coastal]

[well,

unfortunately it's just two rude kids being rude at each other but not caring particularly that they're rude! so lili just blinks]

Oh right, you're friends with that guy. Yeah - he's not here at the moment.

[psychedelica]

[ long-suffering sigh. ]

That bastard is slippery.

[ he shoves his hands in his pockets, then, seeming to realize something, looks at Lili suspiciously. ]

Wait. How did you know that?

week 0, post-trial

[coastal]

[she's so fucking tired and she needs to take a fucking nap - but she probably ends up encounter hikage at some point walking around in the camp. she thinks about not saying anything. she does.

but.]

... are you familiar with him? ... Evan.

[she's willing to give out apologies to all of his friends]

[psychedelica]

[ she most definitely does - Hikage is sitting out by the bonfire, idly poking at it with a stick and looking like he's waiting for someone. That someone is not Lili; nonetheless, he doesn't seem all that bothered by her appearance. ]

No. We were barely acquaintances. We just happened to both be trapped in that castle.

[ after a moment, he tosses the branch into the flames, then turns to look at her just slightly, right eye red in the firelight. ]

... You need comfort more than I do.

[coastal]

[ . . . that surprises her, and she blinks.]

... no, that's not true.

[like yes, her stupid crane did all this to everyone in a way, but,]

I have to take responsibility for what my idiot did. No one owes me anything.

[psychedelica]

[ well, he wasn't expecting that. ]

Why is it your responsibility? He made a stupid decision. It got him and an innocent person killed. Unless there's something you're not telling us, it's got nothing to do with you.

[coastal]

Because he's my friend. I'm not going to give up on him because of this.

[and she's - honestly going to help herself to a seat? she feels like even if she doesn't stay for a long time, she owes this conversation something]

He was stupid - but he was with me before everything happened. He'd never even survived a Thursday night before and while that isn't an excuse for being reckless, it at least partially explains why he was extremely dumb about everything.

Even though he's capable of making his own decisions, and it was an accident - I should've done better by him. And he's not here anymore, so I have to make sure everything is set right.

... though - that might be more of an answer than you wanted.

[but admittedly lili's thoughts on the matter, while straightforward, can easily be construed as self-blame which... is not what it is.]

week 1, friday

[coastal]

[well that was a busy morning.

wherever hikage is, lili is going to approach - though she's, uh, obviously favoring one leg over the other today? that's not great. she also seems to be surrounded by gently hovering bees. she's... not worried about that though.

instead - ]

Find anything even remotely useful today?

[psychedelica]

You...

[ the limping is not surprising. the bees, on the other hand... he's staring at them. ]

You have that, too?

[ hikage is distinctively bee-free, so clearly he met someone else with chronic bee disease, and that's taking precedent over her question. ]

[coastal]

[she's just sighing]

Ookurikara or Ash?

We were in the gardens last night and woke up dealing with them.

[psychedelica]

So that's what it is.

[ how unfortunate. He's glad he doesn't have to deal with anything like that... ]

... There's something in the lake, but the shark is guarding it. [ a beat. ] You've dealt with enough sharks, so you better not go after it tomorrow.

[coastal]

[ . . . . ughhhh. she sighs.]

No, I'm rather sure that no one will allow me.

You weren't able to get any closer look at what it was? I suppose we'll just have to discern what it is tomorrow...

week 2, tuesday night...

[psychedelica]

[ what up, guess who needs a stiff drink after today?? it's Hikage!! Presumably, Lili will want to eat dinner at some point, and it's in the mess hall that she'll find Hikage, who is sitting there, drinking sake by himself in the corner with some half-eaten onigiri on a plate in front of him. Frankly, it's not even the relationship stuff - it is that, actually, but it's on top of everything else. He's spinning his wheels here in every respect.

Why couldn't he have just gone to Gotham already? He supposes he deserves this.

He is not so lost in brooding that he doesn't notice Lili, but he just gives her a neutral look before taking a bite of his food glumly. ]

[coastal]

[lili is actually going to be putting away some of ookurikara's extra snacks in the fridge - but she blinks when she notices hikage and instead just. goes to sit across from him and pushes the cute wagashi over to him.]

Try one - they're good. Ookurikara's a good chef.

[and then - ]

Was the boys' party that bad?

[SHE ASSUMES IT WAS JUST LAME]

[psychedelica]

[ it's hard for him to deny that Ookurikara's a good chef when he has the skill and mental capacity to make something as delicate as wagashi under these circumstances - so he accepts it with a small sigh, although he doesn't eat it yet. He should have figured she'd end up talking to him. ]

You're nosy. [ that said. ] ... I'm just tired. That's all. Things are complicated.

[ the good things in his life most of all - somehow. It seems happiness will always be something he'll struggle with. It would be best if things stayed the same, but he can feel them shifting under his feet again. ]

[coastal]

You had a face that looked like it was suffering.

[she's so fucking rude even when she's being somewhat decent.]

I won't tell anyone what you're suffering through though, if you want to talk about it.

[psychedelica]

[ he does blink at her for a moment there. It still feels strange to be offered kindness. Then again, Lili, too, has only interacted with the surface-level "Hikage" - she doesn't know the things that they do. Even now, after coming to terms with himself, the black butterfly and the white, he expects that most people wouldn't want to stay around him.

He has no reason to tell her more. Not right now, anyway. She's an ally at best. But Hikage relents nonetheless. Lili is reasonable, if nothing else... ]

You don't know? Those two idiots were shouting about it over the divider as loud as they could.

week 6, sunday

[psychedelica]

I'm surprised you're still awake.

[ after everything that's happened - he's watched her struggle with plenty of things these past few weeks, even if she might not know it. That said, it's pure chance he's happened across her. He's got a mug of hot tea in his hands and the look of a man who's resigned to his fate. ]

[coastal]

[there's just a bit of a huff at that, wherever they've managed to run into each other. mess hall? they both have cups of tea. it's fine.]

No stupid injuries or cuts means that I finally get to move around as much as I want to again -

So I plan to take advantage of it.

How're you doing, being back on this side?

[psychedelica]

[ he sighs. ]

... Somehow, I'm not that satisfied. [ he doesn't know why he's telling her this, but he does!! That's it, though. ] All of that, just for a coupon for pasta... It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

[ maybe he deserved it, but his friends didn't need to suffer that much. ]

[coastal]

[just tell lili things bc she doesn't care]

It does feel anti-climactic and stupid, right? Sort of like - what was the point?

[psychedelica]

That's exactly what it feels like.

[ THANK YOU, LILI. hikage has been maintaining the bare minimum of tact because he's worried people will come after him for the implication that the deaths were meaningless! in the end, everyone was saved, so it was worth it! but what was the point, really?! he's just not satisfied. Maybe suffering is always just meaningless. What he went through while he was still alive certainly felt that way.

His own suffering is deserved well enough. He's more upset about Steph and Belph being put through the wringer again. ]