psychedelica | (no subject)

[ once Ion's gone, the evening progresses fairly normally; Hikage has his tea, they discuss today's unfortunate goings-on, he fusses over Steph's injuries (or the ones she has left, really), and, eventually, they go to sleep. He's become quite used to sleeping on the floor now. His back hurts, and the recent drop in temperatures has made it even less comfortable than before, but he endures. He's been through worse than this.

Tonight, though, he tosses and turns. His heart pounds; his fingers and toes feel cold; his mind won't stop racing, going through today's events until they're nothing but a skipping, tattered reel. It must be the adrenaline. Strange to think that a man without a real physical body could still feel such a visceral reaction to anything... then again, he still bled and cried like anyone else, too. Maybe it's a restlessness of the soul ailing him more than an effect of his body. He needs something to soothe it.

Why he goes to her bed, then, he doesn't know. But he stands, and quietly walks around to the side that's still vacant, and, wordlessly, slips himself between the covers. His mind feels blank. The mattress, however, feels comforting. Hikage lays on his side, looking at her silhouette in the gloom of the room. She probably woke up from that, knowing her. ]

Don't say a word.

[ he mumbles a defense, and his hand wanders to rest on her side as he does so, experimentally. ]

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[ if she told him his memories were bothering him, he'd deny it. All of that is gone; he's someone else now. He's "Hikage." That's why something has to be wrong. Being around all these living people shouldn't make him jealous. Being treated kindly by people who don't know any better shouldn't make him happy. And being alone with his thoughts at night shouldn't make him lonely. He's supposed to have left living behind. ]

What?

[ his response is quiet, and tired, but with how close they are now, she can surely hear it. ]

[ she reaches over to take his hand and give it a light squeeze. ]

It's not just convenient to me. I'll show you that, one day.

[ it's a promise, one that she knows will take some time to prove. there's still a lot they don't know about each other, and stephanie has long since realized that hikage is not the kind of person who trusts easily. she'll do her best then. ]

[ Is he supposed to just believe that? What a laughable idea, after all the things he's seen and done. He knows how capricious the human heart is. She'll need to make him believe it.

But it seems like she already knows that. And if she hasn't earned a fraction of his trust already, then what is he doing here, curling up next to her, closing his fingers around hers? If this is a leap of faith, he's already started to stumble off the edge. ]

... Just go back to sleep.

Mm.

[ there's more she would like to say. steph is argumentative by nature, but she isn't even entirely sure of what the argument is exactly. whatever the problem is, it's something that one change in just one night.

hopefully it will soon. ]

See you tomorrow.