psychedelica | (no subject)

(no subject)

Hey. Are you all right?

[ guaranteed that Hikage doesn't normally greet Ion this way - but tonight, he seems a little tired. It's hard to tell if he's annoyed, as usual, or... just simply exhausted. Either way, he had to track Ion down after seeing all those new injuries on him in the trial.

And that's not even mentioning the fact that his partner is about to die. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yes.

[It's not hard to find him; without a partner, he sits alone in his room, back to the door and staring at nothing. But he encourages anyone to come inside, and even turns toward Hikage with the best smile he can manage.]

I'm just fine.

Lying again?

[ he closes the door behind him. There are a thousand things on his mind, but at least this issue is relatively straightforward. ]

I'm sorry.

[He winces a little, his disposition immediately leaning toward guilt.]

It's a force of habit. I'm just used to saying it.

[ the apology gets a sigh out of him. ]

So is that, I bet.

[ he's seen it before. ]

Who did you heal this time?

[You got that one right. Ion figures the statement doesn't need a response, so he just answers the question instead.]

Rapunzel and Varian. Both on the same night. Stephanie caught me with Varian.

[ at least being so beaten-down makes Ion honest when push comes to shove. Hikage faintly wonders what made him this way, but finds he doesn't really care. ]

... Why did you bother?

[ he hopes Stephanie gave him a talking-to. ]

You're a kid. Your body isn't going to take much more of this.

I'm not sure I understand the question.

[In a way, he does, but it just doesn't register, at the same time. Why wouldn't he bother?]

I don't like to see anyone in pain. I care when others are hurting. I know my body can't handle much, but that doesn't make me feel any less that this is something I have to do.

In other words, you're martyring yourself. [ very noble, but he doesn't seem impressed. ] Do you need to heal a certain number of people to meet your objective?

[He shakes his head.]

No. My objective is to die from my injuries.

[And that's precisely why it seemed like he hadn't been listening. Why he'd been so cagey.]

...

[ he narrows his eyes, looking at Ion seriously. ]

And you're all right with that. [ a beat. ] I bet you haven't told Stephanie this, either.

[He shakes his head.]

I've told some people, when it's come up...but I know how most people will react.

[His expression is serene for a moment, but his eyes flash, his mouth turning downward.]

I...tried to convince myself that I was alright with it. And I suppose in some ways, I prefer it to what the alternative could be. I'd rather be killed than be a killer. But, that said...

[His hands curl into fists.]

No. I'm not.

[Things have changed. After what Sandalphon did...if he survives the execution, how can he throw that all away?]

[ If Hikage had been given such an objective, he would have rejected it from the start, he's sure. Perhaps it was foolish for him to continue his existence when he's already died once; he'd be lying if he said he hadn't considered ending things before. But there was always something pushing him forward, even if he doesn't remember what it was. That hasn't changed. ]

You shouldn't be. Death isn't something you should welcome.

[ he would know!! although he doesn't think Ion actually knows his story, come to think of it. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only